Community Dirt
Erin Satterthwaite
Oh what’s the move tonight? Well I have to check my ex’s songkick before we hit up zebulon/prado/cha cha. But, I’m totally down. I actually just finished crafting my suicide moodboard on pinterest. I also posted my ass to Instagram (and meant it) and posted my poetry to Instagram (didn’t really mean it). I won’t actually kill myself don’t worry, I will die from texting and driving though.
Wait- does he remember it? When we lost our clothes and lost our minds? Does he remember it? When we listened to the hum of the box fan and scratched our bug bites until our ankles bled? When our salty wet hands were intertwined? Well, I actually believed everything he told me. Pretty random of me.
One time a boy in middle school told me that he wouldn’t kiss me because I had an ugly face and a flat chest. Little did he know that would end up working for me. Wait, is my trauma from fucking MIDDLE SCHOOL? Ugh, nooo. Some kid named AUSTIN did this to me? Wait, my parents were actually kinda cold towards me. Yea... that’s why I’m like this. But, I’m not totally insane. I have a job by the way. I spent $300 to be a blonde and then used my Starbucks points to get a free cookie which will be my breakfast/lunch/dinner for today. Follow me for more financial tips. Did you hear that Seventeen magazine said that frozen mangos are the snack of the summer? It’s important to know about things like this. I’m not really an artist, I’m just annoying. I’m actually really fucking insane. Also, my car got totaled. Don’t worry, my face is fine. I would cry, but I’m on wellbutrin.
Actually, I don’t really feel like talking about my ex if you don’t mind. Actually, I’m busy tonight. I’m not even thinking about him. I’m thinking about walking down Sunset Boulevard until my legs give out. I am thinking about setting my hoarder neighbor’s house on fire because it would just be so easy to. I am thinking about learning the splits so I can get more fucking attention around here. I am thinking about what Rihanna songs will sound cool slowed down (Desperado, in case you were wondering). I am thinking of smashing my iPhone into the concrete. I am thinking about telling everyone the truth. I am thinking about telling everyone that I saw an apparition in my Silverlake sublet (I didn’t). I am thinking about what my next signature scent will be. I am thinking about stealing one of my hoarder neighbor’s five cats to see if he would notice (the one with orange fur). I am thinking about going by my middle name from this moment onward. I am thinking about kneeling down to the earth's soil and grabbing a handful of it. I want to hold it in my small, pointless hands.
Girl, Idiot
Erin Satterthwaite
The dirt under your fingernails
Greasy hair
Skinned knees
I press my tongue against my bottom retainer
Oh, I know what I’m doing
Just follow me
On my hands and knees
Just the way you like me, baby
Let’s do this before the mystery ends
Do you think Icarus would do it all again?
If he knew he was going to fall?
Everyone loves that stupid little twink
Because he’s a sexy idiot
Just like me
You hate the words from my lips
But you kiss them right
And that’s good enough for me
Erin Satterthwaite is a writer based in Los Angeles. Her work can be found in Forever Magazine, Spectra Poets, and Bugs Gift Shop. She runs a late night reading series called Car Crash Collective with her partner in crime Brittany Menjivar. She hopes to keep telling stories until she dies.