ยฐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ถ๐๐ ๐ ยฐ
Ana Carrete
let's say i'm walking to my car after drinks
i powerwalk to it and look around
i take a video of myself and post it online for people to see
it only lasts a few seconds (no context)
living in the past is posting poorly-lit pictures
i post because it's dark and the parking lot is empty
only 4 or 5 cars are left on that level of the parking structure
i post the video because it's evidence
if anything bad happens to me
this video has been posted
and there are clues to use to find my body but yes
you're right i also want to show you my face
and you want to look at it
you are not the you in the poetโs poem
stop fantasizing about being the you of everything
allow for characters to be other people who aren't you
in preschool a boy would tell me he was going to
marry me when we grew up and i hated him for it
I WAS ALREADY WIFEY MATERIAL
AND I WAS ONLY FOUR
you'd love to have my approval but it wonโt be easy
you wonโt impress me because i'm extra slow to warm up
if you like bad bitches thatโs good to know
i know you like them in theory and then you go sad mode
when you encounter a very bad one
there's clearly something wrong with me
can you top that loser
i canโt accept compliments
i should have and express positive thoughts
i should be adorable but instead
iโm a conceited piece of shit
i donโt care if irony as practiced and spoken
during the indie sleaze era
is cringe now
i love vintage
and friends told me to
never change
and when iโm high iโm passionate
about being earnest
and very very hot
felt ugly fought blemishes
failed to prevent future breakouts
zits turned into fine lines
acne came back ugliest hottest
colorizing pictures leaves your skin
glowing how many dimensions exist
what dimension is god in
steve aoki was the jesus of the indie sleaze era
but personally i prefer devon
2 fast 2 furious sin city are you kidding me
Ana Carrete is the author of Blush and Blink (Lang Books, 2023), Girlfriend Cosplay (Burn All Books, 2019), Non-Girl Non-Final (If a Leaf Falls Press, 2018), Naรญf y Kawaii (Gigante, 2014), Baby Babe (CCM, 2012), and a bunch of self-published zines.